Saturday, August 22, 2020

Why I Got Baptized

"Jesus answered, I am the way and the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me." ~John 14:6

"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, so that we would walk in them." ~Ephesians 2:10

On the 20th day of August, 2020, I was asked to share why I was there, standing on the shore of Lake Huron, about to walk into the clear, calm water to be baptized.  I certainly had reasons.  

In the previous post, I shared a bit of my story about how much I searched my entire life for answers and healing.  How I was raised in a secular environment with minimal connection to extended family, and longed for connection to something greater, rooted in a sense of ancestral identity.  I also share my  burning need to know God directly, and to repent, and how I'd been disillusioned by the 'New Age' teachings I had long followed in absence of having a better understanding about Christianity and what is taught in the Bible.

I also shared pictures from our epic cross-county relocation, and how much of what we have desired has now come to pass, as we move closer to our bigger dreams to own a piece of land.  It's amazing how life changes when you seek first the kingdom of God!

Wednesday, August 19, 2020

My Repentance & What Has Transpired Since Including Our Epic Move(s)! Lots of Pics

"I am the vine, ye are the branches; He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me, ye can do nothing." ~John 15:5

On August 25, 2017, I published Self-Sufficiency, Freedom & Our Big Dreams to Find Our 'Peace' of Land ~ the first post in a series about relocating, ideally on a piece of land in an area near more lakes, forests, and four-season climate.  In February, 2018, I wrote a follow up, sharing a bit more about our desire to not only move, but to also transition away from acupuncture, and a brick and mortar business.  Our preference being to motivate people to become stronger and healthier through safe physical training, and a High Vitality Diet, and therefore help prevent premature physical and cognitive decline rather than treat symptoms after they've progressed.

 At the end of March, 2018, clarity emerged as we decided to move back near family.  Two years later, we finally moved.  Much has transpired since!  It's high time I wrote a follow-up!

We actually headed out of AZ just as the Covid19 restrictions were being implemented. As a result, we were easily able to sell some items, like desks and training equipment within hours of posting them on Offer Up.

Saturday, February 29, 2020

Disbelieve ALL Thoughts ~ The Ego Is An Inferior Operating System

The Ego/Intellect is an Inferior Guidance System!

Are you being influenced by Satan's Operating System (SOS) or the Divine Operating System (DOS) which is God's Will?

If you are a kind, generous person, who always tries to help those in need, give to the poor, and 'do good things' for others, you likely believe you are being guided by your DOS. However, many things we have been taught to believe are virtuous may not be what is Right!  I know, sounds crazy, doesn't it?

I believed being compassionate and helping others was a virtue for much of my life.  By saying that, I'm not condoning being mean, or never helping others, so don't jump to conclusions if you did!

In fact, jumping to conclusions, fretting about the past, worrying about the future, constantly judging yourself and others, reacting emotionally when triggered, having anger or hate towards others who do not agree with your points of view, being a victim, or holding resentments  are hallmarks of succumbing to SOS!

Thinking you are in control of your life ~ believing your intellect is superior to the capabilities of your omnipotent, omniscient Creator ~ is another sign that SOS is running the show.

Photo courtesy of

Tuesday, February 18, 2020

How Forgiveness Cleanses Your Mind & Emotions! My Testimony (As Per Jesse Lee Peterson's Teaching)

What Has Changed Since I Forgave My Mother?

I mentioned here that during a recent visit to Chicago, a discussion between my mom and I opened the door for me to do as Jesse Lee Peterson suggests ~ forgive her.  This was on the heels of my awakening experience six or seven months earlier.  In this post, I will describe the changes I've noticed as a result of forgiving my parents, especially my mother most recently, and why I am excited to share my experiences with others.

Click here to learn how forgiveness can set us free, and click here to learn how to forgive, and for  links to the entire Forgiveness Series. Watch my video discussing forgiveness, and my experience, below.

The main reason I feel inspired, or compelled to share this Forgiveness Series, is because it has been a profoundly transformative, eye opening, amazing experience. I encourage you to check in, and decide if you believe this could benefit you as well.

This delicious cocoa cookie was artfully crated with love by Ashley, Simply-Made in Payson, AZ

After years of searching, studying, getting certified in various holistic healing fields, and 'believing' in many varied systems or spiritual teachings, including New Age/metaphysical teachings like the  Laws of Manifestation and Attraction, and Zen Buddhist meditation practices, nothing has been as liberating and transformative as forgiving my parents.

While in a fallen state, I would get hooked into this and that ~ this book, that class, this teacher, that certification, this meditation retreat, etc. This is pretty common judging by the amount of money people are pouring into the many speaking events and (so-called) healing retreats by the health gurus or 'experts.'  It's a cash cow industry, and all kinds of people want in. Women especially seem to get addicted to going to these seminars, and trying all the latest holistic practices.

I may have gleaned bits and pieces of enlightening information from all of it, yet I was always left thirsting for more. I searched for the teaching or methods that could 'finally' help me heal, and overcome my debilitating emotions to live a productive, peaceful, satisfying life. I searched for answers, which I now see I would never find from these external sources.

By contrast, I noticed that once I forgave my parents, all the other stuff seemed irrelevant.  Not one of these other teachings or practices helped me fully transform my life.

What I have observed is that many people begin to parrot the teachings, as I had, and become the next wave of 'teachers' ~ whether on YouTube or elsewhere ~ creating a new following of people.  This isn't wrong or bad, it's just a passing on of teachings that may not actually be helping people really transform their lives. Rather, these systems keep you hooked. They keep you coming back for more ~ more special meditations, special healing seminars, retreats, etc., hoping that at some point everything will fall into place as promised by the various teachers of all these movements.

Taken from the car, en route to Payson, AZ

It is because of how much time, money, and energy I put into trying to overcome my own debilitating emotions and highly sensitive nature that I feel so passionate about helping others liberate themselves!   I know how much of a drag it was on my life. Despite all 'good intentions' to be in my Right Alignment, I could never quite get there. I made progress, yet the changes I experienced after forgiving my parents were instantaneous! Supernatural. Like a miracle!

I know that those of you who go and forgive your mother and father will not regret it. It truly is a rebirthing from who we were in the fallen state, to who we are meant to BE ~ as sons and daughters of God.

I can testify so far, that letting God illuminate my path is FAR more effortless!  Now that I have gotten out of my own way, life is an adventure again. I look forward to witnessing how it continues to unfold ~ guided by my golden compass within!

Many others have had similarly freeing and transformative results after forgiving their parents, especially their mother.  It's clear by the many testimonials of men and women from around the world to Jesse Lee Peterson's live call-in show.  (You can listen to mine, here, at about 1:16:20)

Peterson is truly helping people from all around the world to transform their lives to become the man or woman they were meant to be. I thank God (and Jesse, and his experts) for that!

Here is an overview of what has changed for me since forgiving my mom:

  • Immediately, the veils dropped, and I began to see things very clearly (see below)
  • I felt more free, like some cords of attachment between us were released
  • All my own emotions seem to have evaporated (see below)
  • I have no anger, regret, or remorse at all
  • I feel very present each day, going with what is in front of me, moment by moment (see below)
  • I have an overwhelming sense of genuine love for all, especially and including an unbelievable love for God, my own father, and men in general!
  • I feel more mentally clear and sharp
  • I feel a great sense of inner joy
  • I am at peace
  • I am finally following my Golden Compass, allowing God to illuminate my life
  • I understand how I was (unwittingly) playing God, despite what I believed to be good intentions, wanting to help or fix others
  • I am able to better observe, rather than participate in my thoughts, which are from Satan
  • I feel shielded by some invisible energetic force field
  • I understand that no one can help themselves, as we are all in a fallen state 
  • My sense of spontaneity and adventure has returned

Sunrise, also taken from the car, en route to Payson, AZ

The Veils Dropped

Peterson is always saying that the spirit of woman is evil, and now I see he is right.  Whether we like it or not, or will admit it or not, Satan is our daddy, and we have big egos!  It's not us, per say, but the spirit that takes over us ~ through our egos!  None of our parents were perfect. But we can become perfect by following Peterson's advice.

I love my mother, yet I can see all the times when she would play victim, go into denial, and use self pity to manipulate others for attention. She was always very quick to judge others, or judge my choices and actions. She can also be quick to dismiss things that she doesn't want to look at or take the time to deal with. Patience is not her virtue!

There are many more things I noticed, but will just say that rather than being affected by her emotions, her frustration, or other emotional manipulations, I just observed it with fascination. I was no longer her child. Once I forgave her, I was finally able to relate to her as a peer. Or, more accurately, her parent.

My Emotions Evaporated

This is a miracle.  I was an emotional person my entire life. I struggled with insecurities, regrets, and other challenges that took a long time to overcome. The Strong Spirit 10-Step Plan was written as a MAP to overcome our debilitating emotions and mindsets that inhibit our ability to accomplish our goals.

I outline several effective tools I learned through becoming certified as a Holistic CORE Counselor.  I had made incredible progress on my own using those tools, yet, nothing could have prepared me for what I experienced after forgiving my mother. I literally felt like all those emotions were whisked away. Poof, gone!

It's amazing, liberating, and still a little strange, as it's a totally new way of operating, for me!

I wrote The Strong Spirit 10-Step Plan as a MAP to get from Point A, to Point B. I am now writing about the next step ~ how to live your most illuminated life by trusting your Divine Operating System (DOS) in my upcoming book, The Golden Compass. This time, it's a guide to getting to Point BE, by letting go to let God guide your life!

I'm More Present Moment Centered

  • The weight of whatever I once carried of remorse, regrets, or anything from my past is no longer part of my reality. I live in a more present-focused state of awareness. This allows me to be more mentally clear, sharp, and observant too.  I work on what comes to me to work on, and take breaks when that feels right. 
  • If I get antsy, I move about. If I feel like reading, I actually read. I am enjoying more leisure, and seemingly getting more done.
  • I no longer make lists each day to remember what I have in mind to do, as what really needs my attention gets impressed upon me, and I just do it.
  • I actually am remaining quite focused, while feeling like I didn't actually do anything at the end of the day. I mean, like it took no effort on my part. It's amazing! No to do lists? Yes! Wow! I still take notes if needed. Nothing wrong with making lists, it's just that I suddenly don't feel the need to. 
  • I am doing what I believe God desires for me to do. This is what it is like to follow your Golden Compass, which I discuss in my upcoming book. It really feels as though I am just a vehicle for which God is expressing His desire and Will for me, through me, as me, yet it's really all Him.

As Peterson often says, "Of ourselves we can do nothing; On our own we can do nothing." 

I've spent enough time, energy, and resources trying to implement my will, and follow the advice of my parents, teachers, and others who parroted standard advice. I've plugged into so many various teachings and groups. And, while all that put me on a path, it was never a direct route to living an illuminated life ~ illuminated by God's Light, Love & Truth.

I've never known such consistent peace. Yes, it's still a new experience, however, it feels different. Like I can't access those old emotions if I tried!

I often believed I was on the right path, doing the right things, and accomplishing whatever I accomplished from my own hard work. I now see very clearly how Satan has been my daddy through my life, as I lived in a fallen state. I believed I had good intentions, yet even our intentions can be sourced in deceptions.  Our intentions simply mirror our beliefs, which are crystalized while in a fallen state.

I believe many of us experience internal  conflict because we have a deep inner yearning for God, and what we are being called to do, yet we (unwittingly) go against ourselves.  God's hand may be reaching out, yet we inadvertently follow Satan's lies. We are convinced we made the 'right' choice.
We believe we are eating the best diet, being kind and compassionate, and doing all the right things, yet all this can be deceiving. 

As Peterson continually repeats, We can't love God if we don't love our earthly father. Once we forgive, God forgives us. He removes our anger and emotions which are part of the women's spirit. The spirit of women is ruled by Satan, until we return to the divine order. I believe it, and I'm experiencing it.  We do things we can't help while in the fallen state.

With God lighting the way, Right versus Wrong is very clear. There is no desire to 'sin' or do what is wrong. Viewing life from this lens helps one to be more discerning versus judgmental.  God reveals to us the Truth. We are meant to be guided from within, not from the teachings of so-called experts.

I asked God to reveal to me the truth of who I am. And, immediately, I was shown through an exchange with a family member. Upon reflection, I was able to see more clearly the ways in which my ego, or Satan, was controlling me, and how that had been influencing my behaviors. It was a great learning experience, for which I am very grateful, despite the rift it caused.  I'll discuss this more in the next post.

I discuss why the forgiveness process is so beneficial and healing, and my own experiences forgiving others in the video below.

Sunday, February 16, 2020

Why We Need To Forgive Our Mother, Part 1

The Forgiveness Series Continues ~ Why We Need To Forgive Our Mother, Part1

I always felt a close bond between my mother and myself. Contrarily,  as I've previously written, I did not feel that way with my father. Through hindsight, I see how much that deep yearning to feel loved, accepted, and valued by my father left a void in my life. I made decisions ~ often acquiescing against my inner knowing ~ because I lacked a proper guidance system. I was subconsciously motivated by my emotional wounds, unwittingly seeking father's love ~ in all the wrong places. I craved the practicality and rationale of a father to guide me, especially as I was often  blinded by my emotions, or wounded parts. But this post is not about my father.

This will be the first post in which I discuss why we need to forgive our mother, as part my forgiveness series focusing on forgiveness, and the importance of raising children in households with their biological father actively present in their lives.  Read HOW EVERYTHING CHANGED, once I forgave her, here.

As Jesse Lee Peterson (JLP) repeats over and over in his morning radio show, we must forgive our mother, and return to our father if we are to ever overcome our anger and resentments, and experience lasting peace.  According to JLP, when we forgive our parents, God will forgive us. Then, once we do this, we are 'born again.' He renews our mind, and removes our anger, and with that all the emotions which are not part of our natural state.

Fear, doubt, worry, anxiety, hate, and resentment are all the offspring of anger.

We become illuminated from within ~ a topic for which I am very passionate, and am writing more about in my upcoming book, The Golden Compass.

Once we forgive our parents, the next step is to practice the Silent Prayer every morning and evening. While doing so, we can ask God to reveal to us who we really are, which is not as pretty as we'd like to believe! I will discuss this more in a follow up post, as I believe this process is incredibly liberating, once we can overcome our ego's knee jerk reactions to disbelieve, and even condemn it all. As Peterson says, and I concur, I am a living witness to the effectiveness of this process ~ which is something I will continue to expound upon here, and in The Golden Compass.

The Silent Prayer, or silent meditation allows us to 1) observe, rather than participate in our thoughts, and 2) learn to really listen to God by staying focused in the present moment.  We are not our thoughts. All thoughts are lies, as previously written, here.

By forgiving our mother we can return to our father, who is the vessel for which true love comes through. It comes into man when we are in divine order, which Peterson explains is God in Christ, Christ in Man, Man over Woman, Woman over children ~ as expressed in the Bible. This isn't about whether I agree or not; I am not God, and didn't create this order. I am just coming to see how this order works.

I may have questioned this at one point in my life, however, it totally makes sense to me now. I am hoping to explain through this series of blog posts how women are being completely misled, sadly to our own peril, and that of those in our care. Women are allegedly experiencing greater freedoms than ever, yet they are also taking more anti-depressant medications than ever before.

The more I began to listen to Peterson's live call-in show, the more clear it was that the majority of callers, both men and women, believe their mother was more of a saint, while the father was the source of their anger or resentment ~ he was an 'alcoholic' or 'he left' or 'he was no good' is what children learn from their mother ~ without hearing their father's side of the story. Kids don't think to ask their father his side of the story.

During a recent month-long visit with my mom, I listened to many of the videos in Peterson's Go and Forgive Your Mother playlist.  It's very interesting to hear everyone's testimonies. While in Chicago,   I forgave my mom.  It was an AMAZING and eye opening experience!

I had already had the supernatural experience of all my old shame and regrets being lifted off of me, which I described here. This time, it was really like the veils dropped. I was seeing things so clearly, like a knowing, as many events and past experiences unraveled in my mind. All this was coupled with observations of behaviors of my mom, and those I also inherited that really helped me know without a doubt that what Peterson says about women is true. That until we forgive our mother, and return to our father, Satan IS our daddy, or as I say, our operating system, or SOS!

Women really do have huge egos, and we are being manipulated into believing we are oppressed victims of a patriarch. This is a lie, and it's deliberate. It's part of a bigger plan to destroy the traditional family. Strong families create strong communities, and strong nations ~ the primary source of resistance to power hungry 'leaders' who prefer a more dumbed down, emotional, weak populace which is easier to control.

In my follow-up post, I share what has changed (is changing) for me since I forgave my mother. I also look into how femin-'ism' is a destructive force like a virus of the mind that prevents us from overcoming our anger, anxiety, and other destructive emotions, and experience true, lasting peace and love.

Until we can overcome the negative influences of our thoughts ~ our mind, ego, and intellect ~ Satan will be our daddy, and he will keep us from knowing what love is, and living our most illuminated life.  For true love, peace, and fulfillment, allowing ourselves to be guided by our Divine Operating System ( DOS) is far more effortless than being led by Satan's Operating System (SOS) which is the central theme in The Golden Compass.

Click here for a menu of the entire Forgiveness Series.

In this Church service held at BOND ~ Brotherhood Organization of a New Destiny ~ founded by Jesse Lee Peterson 30 years ago, he shares the best kept secret of all time.

Tuesday, February 4, 2020

Children Less Likely to Be Medicated For Emotional Issues When Raised by Biological Mother & Father Than Same-Sex Households

Children Need Their Mother AND Father Series, Part 2

In my last post, I discussed the increased challenges children face when raised without their father being actively present in their lives.

Picture courtesy of

Since roughly the 1980s, when sperm banks opened their doors, and adoption was legalized for same-sex partners, there has been an increase in same-sex partners raising children. After enough time had passed, studies were conducted to determine if there were differences in outcomes for children raised in same-sex households ~ initially most often by two females, one who may have been the biological mother ~ or opposite-sex biological parents. The original verdict: not much.  A difference was noted in the female couples having higher stress, with no significant effect on the children.(1)

The problem with some of the early studies was in the methodology. Couples chosen tended to have greater financial stability, and were not a good cross sectional representation. There may have also been biases from self-reporting, knowing that the answers needed to be a positive representation of same-sex parenting, and biases from those conducting and reporting the studies which sought a particular outcome.  Selecting subjects versus using random selection also produced vastly different results, which Katy Faust writes in her article, Study the Studies, What We Know About Same-Sex Parenting, published May 22, 2017 on

Faust shares details of A Review and Critique of Research on Same-Sex Parenting and Adoption, a 120 page report which considered three main areas:

  • stability of same-sex parental relationships
  • child outcomes
  • child outcomes in same-sex adoption

Thursday, January 30, 2020

Children NEED Their Fathers, And We NEED To Forgive Them!

Forgiving Our Parents - Part 1: What's Missing? 

The Impact of Fatherless Homes on Children

In my previous post, I started to explain the process of forgiveness. Forgiveness frees us from the emotional baggage and attachments that will otherwise keep us bound to whomever may have ~ wittingly or unwittingly ~ caused us harm.

Many otherwise well intended mothers and fathers may be unwittingly creating unfavorable conditions for raising children, preventing them from evolving into emotionally stable, healthy, successful adults.

Over the years of being a Clinical Hypnotherapist and Holistic CORE Counselor, I have listened to many clients recount stories from their upbringing that were ~ if as reported ~ way less than ideal, and in some cases, the stories of abuse were quite shocking.

While it may be easy to point out wrongdoing among parents who are abusive, there are many other ways children are getting off to a rough start. I will continue to discuss this in an ongoing series, which will tie back to the theme of forgiveness.  I will also share my recent experience of forgiving my mother while spending the month there helping her out in an upcoming post.

I share a video of my experience with forgiving my father, below.

Photo by Josh Willink from Pexels

Monday, January 27, 2020

Find Freedom Through Forgiveness


Forgiving others for perceived wrongs is a practice that can set you free, however, it is a process that is not always understood. 

Some people believe that to forgive someone is to let them off the hook, or somehow give the impression that the hurtful acts were 'ok.' People can carry around their pain for years. To forgive can seem like giving up a part of oneself. Even if that part is a massive wound negatively impacting the psyche, it is a part. Letting it go through forgiveness would feel like a loss. If we don't have our pain, or the story of our pain, what is left? 

In this regard, whether realized or not, not forgiving can have a payoff.  It can feel empowering being able to hold something over someone ~ possibly for a lifetime!  This is seen in relationships. The one who feels victimized will guilt-trip their spouse or other person who they perceived to have wronged them to do things they may not want. This is not healthy, yet it happens all the time.

Not forgiving also has another payoff: attention. In our modern culture, you can receive the support of other individuals or groups who have also claimed victim status. What these people mostly need, but fail to see it is the love of their father!

Forgiveness =>>> Freedom 

Be Still And Know ~ Thoughts Are Lies

I never used to understand the Christian perspective of 'sin,' however, as I see it, sin is all that we do that is anti-logos. Anti-Nature. Against God!  Setting aside semantics, our lower ego and physical senses are not under the dominion of God. Our thoughts and senses are the potential entry way to 'the devil' or 'satan.' You could say that all thoughts are of the devil, or the great deceiver. At least  that's how Jesse Lee Peterson explains it in his Silent Prayer, below.

Any thoughts, insecurities, self-doubts, self negating habits, or any way in which we think and act that is counter to God, or Logos ~ the Divine Order ~  is a sin!

As Jesse Lee says, you can't listen to your thoughts. Our thoughts are not from us. We just are programmed to think they are.

Sin means without. Without light. Whether you call it a Spirit, possession, the devil, satan, or the lower ego, the net result is damaging to and negating of the True Self. We are a spiritual being, and the Divine Light of Truth dwells within. We have to learn to listen to it. To trust and be guided by that which seeks expression through us. "Thy Will not my will."

By taking time daily to become still, and just observe the activity of the mind dispassionately, we can begin to awaken, and know thyself.  We can allow the Divine Will for our lives to unfold organically.

Be still to know the Truth, and the Truth shall set you free!  Forgiveness will too! Learn more about forgiveness, next post!

Saturday, December 14, 2019

My Awakening And Divine Healing

My Supernatural Divine Healing 

As I continue with this series, I will attempt to share a little more of the back story to help put all of this into a more clear context.  In this post, I wanted to go back to my 'awakening' and super natural divine healing experience.

In May of this year, I was dealing with my second bout of diarrhea. These bouts may have been triggered by food that turned, or some bug going around, however, despite the source, they both turned out to be quite the purge ~ physically and mentally!

Each time, I had spontaneous recall of past events. My life would flash before me, and I would remember this and that, after years of not giving these old experiences a second thought.

Some of what was flashing before me in May caused me to feel regret, and even shame. Shame can weigh you down like a heavy fog, creating a myopic, limited perspective, like the misty morning
pictures below where the lake is barely visible until right upon it.

I had remorse flash through my mind about many things I did that I wished I didn't, especially with guys.  If I knew then what I know now, I would definitely have done things differently!  

At this time, while home resting, I came across Doreen Virtue's videos discussing her walking away from the New Age movement, and becoming born again. I was fascinated with Doreen's story because while I had long been a fan of her books and oracle decks, however by this point, I had already started selling off her decks on eBay!  I no longer had any interest in the New Age movement, nor doing readings.

Thursday, December 12, 2019

12-12 Full Moon & Message - Live By Faith, Not By Sight

Happy Full Moon Blessing ~ Feel the Warmth & Security of the Divine Loving Presence!

Today's message is from Jesus Calling Enjoying Peace in His Presence 365 Day Devotional by Sarah Young. Considering the potentness to this day, after a gorgeous full moon, this seemed an ideal message. Let the love of the Divine fill you up, illuminating your entire being like the brilliance of the rising full moon.

A beautiful sunset during a drive home from Prescott, not from the huge full moon of 12-12/

I don't have a picture to share, but the full moon rising on the eastern horizon, while colors filled the sky on the western horizon as the sun set was pretty magical. I had a feeling of relief come over me. I have no idea why, however, I did. I laid in bed, and looked up towards the ceiling to gaze at the wispy peaceful flying energies dancing above me. As I did, I truly did feel engulfed by a warmth, a greater lightness of being, and a sense that I was safe. 

I 'knew' I was being provided for and guided. I felt bathed in love. A sense of joy bubbled up with childlike giddiness, for no particular reason. My heart also swelled with gratitude ~ for the loving embrace of my husband, and all that I was being given, including stepping more into the role of caretaker for my Mom. So this morning, while reading the 12-12 Jesus Calling passage, I immediately resonated with this Truth. (Read some of this passage, below.)

Rather than feel weighed down, engulfed with a heavy fog that would not lift ~ as I had been feeling for some time ~ I felt the atmosphere clear, like the sun that finally peaks through after days, or even weeks of dark skies.  I have no idea why these blessed feelings came over me, however, I am so very grateful for the ease it brought to my body, mind, nerves, and my Spirit. I believe my faith grows, and as it does, it shields me from all that would have previously bothered me. It shields me from all that previously challenged my sense of safety as well.

It has taken me a long time to cultivate this level of faith. I've always had a bit of childlike innocence that I maintained. While I had faith, it was mixed with many more moments of self-doubt, confusion, and a struggle 'to figure it all out.'  In fact 'struggle' became my M.O. ~ modus operands. I believed I  was responsible for my life, hence my mind and willful nature attempted to steer my 'ship' with mixed results. If I trusted my hunches, things went well. If I did what I thought I was 'supposed' to do, as per the opinions of others, including cultural beliefs, results were not so good.

As I've previously mentioned, I searched for answers in my 20s by reading a myriad of self-help books in the burgeoning New Age market. I did not know where else to turn. I had tried counseling. And, as I think I mentioned in the Day 1 post of this series, I was raised atheist. Neither parent cared for organized religion. I received mixed messages about God.  The sentiments of many in my secular world was that religion was a 'crutch.' Belief in God was a replacement for believing in one's self. People who went to church were seen as less intelligent, or weaker-willed.  

Of course, I see things differently now. I even pray for forgiveness for ever harboring or perpetuating such thoughts. 

Our human mind is not so superior. We can never really 'figure things out' near as perfectly as our Divine Creator. Our ego gets caught in 'specialness traps.' We believe ourselves either super special in a positive or negative way ~ either above others, or supremely inferior. If the latter, we suffer in our story, sharing it often with the subconscious desire for attention or acknowledgement that we had it SO bad. 

If we believe ourselves superior, we mistakenly will our way through life, often unsuccessfully, or with mixed results. Our arrogance becomes the shield for all that is more loving, brilliant, and light. It blocks flow of the Divine. It hardens our heart, and we become like a desert inside, lacking the warmth, loving presence, Diving inspiration, and true security that comes with Faith.

Every detail of your life is under My control. Moreover, everything fits into a pattern for good, to those who love Me and are called according to My design and purpose.

Events may seem to occur randomly, with little or no meaning. People who view the world this way have overlooked one basic fact: the limitations of human understanding. What you know of the world you inhabit is only the tip of the iceberg. Submerged beneath the surface of the visible world are mysteries too vast for you to comprehend. by faith, not by sight; trusting in My mysterious, majestic Presence.
Like the glorious 12-12 full moon!

Day 1 - One Year Bible and the commencing of this new series, my journey dealing with current challenges while also reading the Bible for the first time, and other spiritual and inspiring texts.

Day 2 - Be Willing to Go Out On A Limb For Me From Jesus Calling

Day 3 - The Dancing Mind from Anam Cara, by John O'Donohue

Day 4 - Remaining Present and The Great Spiritual Battle of the Mind

Wednesday, December 11, 2019

Remaining Present And The Great Spiritual Battle Of The Mind

Remaining Present & The Great Spiritual Battle

I am stairing at a blank page, wondering what my theme for today's post ought to be as I am without all of my various inspirational texts!  I packed the One Year Bible with some Christmas ornaments, lights, gelatin packets, Keto Kreme and Salted Caramel Keto Broth and sent it media mail to Mom's place. I figured, if I'm going to be away from my husband and our apartment which has some decorations up, then why not brighten up my Mom's place as well? The One Year Bible is a fat book, so I sent it along with the rest of the goodies to avoid needing to check my luggage.

For Day 1, introducing this series, click here. Day 2, Go Out on a Limb for Mehere. Day 3, The Dancing Mind, here.

The theme that comes to mind is the pursuit of remaining present. Learning to respond rather than react. And, how the mind, and our physical senses is viewed by Christians (and the Vedas) to be under the domain of Satan (or sub whatever other term) rather than God.  We need to understand how our mind works to avoid the potential for self-sabotage, and veering off our path. So let's look at this.

When I contemplate the entirety of our impending decisions, I easily get overwhelmed. It's quite daunting! Do we relocate to be near Don's family, taking my Mom with? Move closer towards my sister in the Pacific NW, so Mom can be near us both? Or stay in Arizona? Each area has it's pros and cons.

Then, we have to contemplate, can we live with my Mom?  If so, it would keep us from having to use up her long term care insurance. She could live well past what the policy provides, so extending her finances is important. Yet, she is more extroverted, we are introverted. She wants continual social companionship ~ which I understand ~ yet we sit in silence for extended periods working on our respective websites and content creation.

If it's too quiet, she goes crazy. If there is constant television ads, and all the 'programming' running non-stop, we go crazy.  We haven't had cable, nor a t.v. for most of our entire time together.

Anything that is missing, is of course our fault.  We 'took' it.  Her mind plays tricks on her. She can be totally sure of certain things happening, even if they didn't happen.  It is common for people with dementia to get stubborn. Some get belligerent. My Mom thankfully is mostly a joy, yet her limitations reflect her life choices and habitual mindsets.  Note to self. Start brain exercises!

And of course, there are continual questions. Within seconds of saying something, it's forgotten. It's frightening. She knows she has issues, yet as is often the case, she knows not the extent.  I can spend hours answering questions, only to have it all forgotten by the next day. It can eat up my time and energy reserves! Not to mention my patience!

How do I remain present? How can I best serve, with an open loving heart? How do I remember to not take things personally, not get too frustrated? All things that are easier said than done!

Witnessing a loved one go through dementia or memory loss reminds us of how fragile our mind really is. Who is running the show when the synapses get fried, or stop connecting?

So, what about the notion that our mind and senses are under the domain of Satan?  I have come to  understand this perspective, because our eyes and senses can fool us.  Ask several witnesses to a crime scene to report what they saw, and each will recount something different. The movie industry is predicated on making things seem real, even when they are not!

Our ego can easily cause us to feel superior, or inferior. We can get stuck in our stories, and be totally misled by erroneous beliefs, and empty promises. We are not given a rule book on how to understand and best use our mind. Everyone has experienced going a bit crazy or dark at different times. The mind is powerful and can be a force of good or evil; a creative force, or source of major destruction!

Satan could be defined as anything that is not of the Divine Natural Order, or Logos. Anything that counters God, or influences us to choose darkness over light is going against God.  If God is Natural Law, Satan is anti-Nature. If God is a state of perfection, then perhaps being overcome with anxiety, depression, and fear is NOT our native state, even if it has become 'the norm.'  So, if my Mom or anyone becomes filled with anxiety and fear, is it possible that in those moments, evil or dark spirits have taken up residence?  The late Derek Prince believed so, and created an entire ministry around delivering people from Spirits after healing his own life-long debilitating depression.

Some may argue against this, yet as I've toyed with these thoughts, I have found it to be a helpful practice.

Poor health has become the norm, yet it isn't necessarily our birthright. Perhaps we are meant to be vibrant, brilliant, radiant, whole, and holy as we were made in the likeness of our Creator.  Fear, depression and anxiety are unnatural states, even if widespread. So, if whenever these lesser emotional states consume us we immediately 'rebuke' them as evil spirits, it can teach us how to more fully realize our most illuminated state! We can learn to reject depression, anxiety, and fear, and affirm that we are whole, healed, and holy beings.  Tony Meyers healed from being wheelchair bound, and shares his beliefs that we are meant to be healed, not sick in Unlocking the Mystery of Divine Healing, available on Kindle.  His first book, The Lord Jesus Healed Me, The Journey of an Atheist to the Truth, which I have not read yet,  describes his condition ~ paralyzed and dying ~  and miracle healing.

Anytime our lower ego fills our mind with self-doubts, and less-than optimal ideas, and we accept those thoughts as true, and act accordingly, we are not living out the truth of who we are.  We are living out a lie. Satan deceives. He takes us off our path, continually tempting us to go rogue. To go away from Truth, or Light. He tempts us with the shiny sparkly things. Or promises of wealth, fame, power, an easier life, comforts, sex, or whatever works.

In each moment we have choice points. To acquiesce or stand strong. To do what is more difficult because it is Right, or to take the easy way out. To react, or to respond. To act out our impulses, or rather Satan's influences, or rebuke his sly temptations. We can align with our lower ego, or our soul's truth, Satan or God, the dark or the light.

I never used to believe that life was a battle between good and evil. I always believed that man (humans) were inherently good, and that how we evolved was influenced in part by genetics, and in part by our environment.  However, after years of traveling down never ending rabbit holes, I have come to accept the Christian beliefs that our earthly domain is a battlefield.  A spiritual battle field. We either succumb to Satan's temptations, or we choose to hold fast, and remain a strong spirit, or warrior for the light.

So, I see my challenges as opportunities to practice remaining present, patient, and heart-centered. To rebuke Satan, and turn towards the Light.

If I can remember ahead of time that some day, she will no longer be with me, then I can do my best to cherish each moment, and remain more present.  I know I will miss those moments of frustration one day!

If I look ahead, and maintain that perspective, my heart opens. I feel myself being infused with an amazing peace and love that overflows. In these moments, I feel closer to God ~ or what some may call the Holy Spirit.  It has already provided me far more comfort than the total of every New Age self-help book I have ever read.

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Tuesday, December 10, 2019

The Dancing Mind From Anam Cara ~ Celtic Wisdom by John O'Donohue

The Dancing Mind, From Anam Cara, or 'Soul Friend'

Today's post is inspired by the writing of John O'Donohue, a prolific author of Celtic wisdom.

This is Day 3 of my reigniting The Strong Spirit Path blog, sharing my adventures with reading the Bible for the first time, along with other inspiring texts, and leaning on God to illuminate our path  through our current financial and familial challenges.

Read Day 1 announcing reading the One Year Bible, here.  Inspiration for Day 2 ~ Be Willing To Go Out On A Limb For Me came from Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young ~ a beautiful, soft covered, widely read, heartwarming daily devotional book.

Anam Cara, A Book of Celtic Wisdom, by John O'Donohue is among the most poetic, insightful books I've had the pleasure of reading. I borrowed some of his wisdom to add to my own book, The Strong Spirit 10-Step Plan. Specifically, the section where he asks, with what type of vision do you view the world?  The styles of vision include fearful, judgemental, resentful, indifferent, superior/Inferior, greedy and loving. You can read about what they each mean in my or his book.

'The Dancing Mind'

O'Donohue also talks about there being many kinds of solitude, including a solitude of suffering, "when you go through darkness that is lonely, intense, and terrible." We all have had our 'bleak' moments, when as he writes, 'words are powerless to express your pain.'

He then goes on to share some beautiful images found in nature that to him represent a mind in rhythm with itself. A field of corn bending with the wind, rather than standing stiff against it. A wolf-spider who weaves her web between two blades of grass, also bowing with rather than standing against the winds that do come.

Yielding rather than stiffening up to 'fight against' is also a key lesson in Tai Chi, or other forms of martial arts. "Be like water, my friend..." ~ as Bruce Lee often repeated.

O'Donohue continues, 

We put terrible pressure on our minds. When we tighten them or harden our views or beliefs, we lose all the softness and flexibility that makes for real shelter, belonging, and protection. Sometimes the best way of caring for your soul is to make flexible again some of the views that harden and crystalize your mind; for these alienate you from your own depth and beauty.

I read the first half of this book in flight to visit my mom in April, or perhaps it was even earlier. I've intended to get back to finishing it for some time.  Just today, despite running late, on a whim I grabbed the book to take with me to our clinic. Now, at the end of our day, I am finally opening it. There was a cocktail napkin inside that opened to the above passage. I immediately knew it would be perfect for today's post.

When we crystalize our thoughts into beliefs, we can become a slave to those beliefs.  It isn't wrong to have various beliefs, however, wise men of yore often taught to stay open, and fluid. Be like water. Stay soft and flexible. The more beliefs we hold, the more space that gets occupied, shutting out room for anything counter to our beliefs.

When faced with something that legitimately challenges our beliefs, we experience cognitive dissonance. We may reject new information out of hand, not wanting to face the fact that our long-held belief(s) about a particular matter may not be as true or appropriate as we had previously believed.

It takes courage to face this. That is the path of The Strong Spirit!

I hope you enjoyed this post. Stay tuned, more to come!

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